Orbital

*ring ring*



"Yo!"



*beep*


"Hey man, same to you fucknose!"



*beep*


"Hey, who is this?"



"Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.....Hello? Hello? Who iz zis?"


"You gots the Sherrif on the line baby, and once you gots the Sherriff on the line..."



"Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.....Hello? Hello? Houston?"


"Not Houston fool, Sherriff!"



"Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.....Zis is Space Station Knokitof VE are in urgent need of assistance. Ve are Russian"


"I hear ya man, I'm rushing too, and I only had half a pill...sheee-it!"



"Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.....Ve do not understand. Ve are RUSSIAN..."


"Well motherfuckers, slow the hell down yo! Sheee-it!"



"Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffff........Iz there anyone else we can talk to?"


"Okay, okay...just winding you up. What's going on up there man? Motherfucking SPACE STATION! Woohoo! Hey...Can you see the great wall of China?"



"pffffffffffffffffffff.........No ve can't. Why?"


"Ah...never mind. What seeems to be the problem comrades?"



"Pfffffffffffffffff....Ve urgently need assisstance. Do you happen to have ze phone number of Chewbacca? He may be able to help us, do you have it?"


"Maybe..."



"Pfffffffffffffffff...............Vell?"


"Well motherfucker...what the fuck yo is in it for me? You hear what I am saying?"



"Pfffffffffffffffff..............."



*whispering in background*



"........."



"Pfffffffffffffffff...............Ve hear you like the lezbians no? How about we give you Tatu's phone number."


"Motherfucker's got yo'self a deal. Tatu! Woohoo! Hang on, I want try it first, make sure you all ain't putting the pudding on me. Gimme 5, ok?"



"Pfffffffffffffffff...............Ok"





*ring ring*






ring ring*






"Hello? Tatu here"


"Hey Tatu! This here be the Sherriff y'all. I gots to go now, but I'll call you back soon okay?"



"Tehehehehe...okay sexy man. Ve vait for your call..."


'Right on. And girls?"



"Yes?"


"It's good to see your back."





*click*






"Yo Boris, you still there?"



"Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft...............Yes, ve here now give us chewbacca's number. Quickly!"


"Okay holmes, don't get all Apollo 13 on me man. Here..."



"Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft...............Ok...ve ring now..."





*ring ring*






*ring ring*








"Hello Beaver Chew Chewing Tabacca. How can I help you?"



"Pfffffffffffffffffffft.....Ve are looking for Chewbacca!"



"Well you've come to the right place, we come in Mint flavoured, Rasberry flavoured, Beef or Original. What's your poison?"



"Pfffffffffffffffffffft....."



"Hello?"



"Pfffffffffffffffffffft........Sorry, ve're a bit confused. Ve are looking for CHEWBACCA?"




"OH! CHEWBACCA. Damn it, this always happens. Hold on I've got his number here, I'll patch you through..."






*ring ring*







*ring ring*








"Yeah Chewbacca. What do you want?"



"Pfffffffffffff......CHEWBACCA? Is this Chewbacca ze big Space Monkey?"



"MOTHERFUCKING SPACE MONKEY? SPACE MONKEY? I KICK YO SPACE MONKEY ASS YOU CALLING ME A MOTHERFUCKING SPACE MONKEY YOU HEAR ME? I AM A WOOKIE. 8 FOOT TALL AND JUST AS LONG BITCH. WOOKIE. SAY IT!"



"Pfffffffffffff......You're a Wookie"



"Say it again fool!"



"Pfffffffffffff......You're a Wookie"



"I can't hear you"



"Pfffffffffffff......YOU'RE A WOOKIE"



"That's right baby, now get on yo' hands and knees and kiss my big hairy Wookie ass"



"Pfffffffffffff......"



"I said get on yo' hands and knees and kiss my big hairy Wookie ass"



"Pfffffffffffff......mwah x mwah x"



"Okay, now what can I do ya for?



"Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.....Zis is Space Station Knokitof ve are in urgent need of assistance. Ve are Russian"



"Hey, I'm rushing too man and I only had half a pill yo! Sheee-it!"



"Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff....ve don't like that joke...Ve urgently need your assistance Chewbacca...Please!"



"Well, I'd love to help man, but you don't know what's going here right now. I'm so busy, I got my hands full right now, you know what I'm saying?"



"Pfffffffffffffffffff.....Chewbacca....PLEASE?"



"Sorry man, no can do. I gots to go, I can hear someone knocking at my door. See y'a ll soon."






*click*








"Now vat do ve do?"



"I don't know.....Call him again..."



"Ok...but let's finish this joint first...hehehehe"



"hehehehehe"



"hehehehehe"




*ring ring*








*ring ring*








"Jesus christ, help me...some guy with a sniper rifle is trying to kill me. He won't let me off the phone..."



"Pffffffffffffffft......Oops...wrong number..."




*click*





*ring ring*







*ring ring*









"MOTHERFUCKERS I'M BUSY HERE, WHO THE FUCK CALLING ME?"



"Pffffffffffffffft......Oops...wrong number..."





*click*





"Shit. Vat now?"



"hehehehehe"



"Hey! Pass me that joint man, shit ain't no microphone!"



"Hey? Vat just happened to your Russian accent. Aren't you Russian?"



"I sure am nigger, and I only had half of this joint! Sheeee-it!"



"Hehehehehe"



"Hehehehehe"



"Ok, this iz serious, vat are we going to do?"



"Let's call zat silly Sherriff back...he is our only hope now..."






*ring ring*






*ring ring*






"Yo, you've reached the Sherriff and no, that ain't no pistol in my pocket..."



"Pfffffffffffffffffffffff.....Sherriff, zis is ze Space Station again."


"Hey how you guys doin? And can you stop making that stupid pffffffffffff noise?"



"Ok sorry. It's just that we're really stoned..."


"Hehehehe..."



"Hehehehe...Anyvay...Chewbacca was busy....so....ve really need your help. Will you help us?"


"Ay man...anything for a fellow toker, you know it!"



"Vunderful! Listen...ve are so stoned...ve can't open the Jam Jar, can you do it for us?"


"...................."



*click*